I did not grow up wanting to be a teacher. In fact, I always considered the occupation to be painfully mundane. Before. No, I grew up wanting an audience. I wanted to be admired, marveled, and almost sacred; like how people treat Beyoncé. Before I knew what it was to be a teacher, I thought anybody could do it. I was an idiot. Clearly. 

Teaching changed my life. I can’t quite describe what happens when I step in front of a classroom to instruct a course, but I can tell you it’s magical. I wring myself out in my classrooms, giving my students every ounce of my energy in those hours. It’s an exchange of energy dedicated to inquiry and wonder rather than right answers. It’s an invitation to join in cognitive play with a purpose. Have you ever been present for 2 hours while trying to also make a point? It ain’t easy.  

This time of year...having recently lost my job and now considering my next move, back to school time feels a bit like salt in a fresh wound. Part of me, undoubtedly my ego, is scrambling. She wants a classroom so badly. What is she going to teach ? I don’t know but she is ready. My ego needs a classroom and students and to be called professor because that is where I know I excel. I feel untouchable in the classroom. I hit my stride and am so locked in, I could do it all day for free and never get tired. But it is a curious time. One where returning to higher education feels a bit like masochism. I ask myself if going back is worth it? I ask myself whether I stand to grow more from going back or pushing forward? And I know I’m in the right place.  

Instead of institutions, I’m going to teach lessons of love, healing, empowerment, forgiveness, and grace from where I am with what I have. I am going to allow the absence of walls to inspire me to see the world as my classroom; a boundless blank canvas ready for hypotheses and hunches. I am going to set the intention that my readers aid me in purchasing a computer so that I can not only continue to share, but expand to more mediums and use my website as a hub for connection and my healing curriculum. 

Im choosing to see the light in this darkness. This moment of bitter remembering how last year I was about to start a new job. Then, I was full of a different kind of hope. Hope that trusted an organization to support me in my desire to do good and help others grow into the best version of themselves. I have to see my forced resignation as a sign that I was meant to do that work elsewhere.  

I can’t wait to start picking up new coaching clients. I am over the moon excited to plan my wellness and healing retreats. I’m salivating over the consulting opportunities. My coaching collective? There’s nothing more powerful than being part of that group. I know in my heart the things I’m dreaming of and planning for are where my energy is needed right now. I trust that the universe is going to keep making it plain that this is right by affirming my decisions with provision, with praise, with a growing community. With engagement. With people who are interested in learning more about how I can help them become better versions of themselves.  

Its not the kind of back to school you need new notebooks for. It’s the kind of back to school that requires you unlearn the false truths you’ve been telling yourself. Unlearning busy equals productive. Unlearning stressed equals successful. Unlearning limitations. Unlearning mental models. Unlearning all that no longer serves who you are today. I’m getting ready. I feel myself climbing the stairs ascending as the roar of the crowd grows louder. It is almost time for my debut but for now I prepare my mind. My spirit. I steady my breathing and I prepare myself to consider how I would like to begin. 

MY NAME IS JESSICA JAMESE WILLIAMS. I AM AN ENERGY WORKER WHO IS PRIMARILY HEALING MYSELF. I AM ALLOWING THE WORLD TO WITNESS MY IMPERFECT PROCESS. I AM STRONG ON MOST DAYS AND I AM WEAK ON OTHERS, STILL EVERYDAY I AM TRYING.  I HEAL THROUGH MY ART, AND THIS IS JUST ONE MEDIUM. IF I CREATE SOMETHING THAT MOVES YOU, SHOW LOVE:

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