Write Hard and Clear About What Hurts
~Ernest Hemingway

I don’t want to return to my job. Currently, I am on leave because I was completely burned out. I was waking up throwing up, carrying so much stress and anxiety in my body with not enough outlets or ways to replenish. It lead to my complete depletion. In the midst of my leave, I had a trip home to see family and the swirl of my own displeasure mixed with the gravitational pull of my family has me feeling completely up in arms. In talking about it with a few friends, they asked me what I want to do or where I want to go? My honest answer is, I am ready to live wherever I want to and do the work of healing full time. My whole body shudders at the bravo of that declaration. But it is my truth.

I am going to buy a home in Atlanta and my home-base will always be there. I cannot really see having family anywhere else. I have had the great fortune of traveling and living all over the place and I still cannot think of a better place to be Black in America—it is our Mecca and every Black person should make a pilgrimage there within their lifetime. I was lucky enough to be born there, my children will have the good fortune of saying the same.

And, I will have homes in other places. Jamaica, for one. More than likely, San Diego as well and somewhere in the desert. My homes will be healing spaces where my clients can book time and have meals prepared, be in a healing environment of my curation and work with me as.a coach and facilitator of their healing process. I can see it so clearly. I will have a media arm as well, being something of a personality but truly just making information available for people so that if they choose to, they can heal themselves using all the teachings I have learned about healing and empowerment processes. Finally, of course there will be books. Books and likely movies and at least one film.

I am so clear on what I want and what wants me, it is how I know with absolute certainty that I do not want to return to work. I will, for a number of reasons, this leave was to replenish not to leave my entire team in a lurch, not to mention my students. No, I will return and hopefully be able to perform at what I know is a level I can be proud of and stand behind, because regardless of how I feel about my job I recognize that I prayed for it. I manifested it and it served a tremendous purpose. I am so grateful for it and couldn’t be where I am right now without it. I can know all of that and I can know it is time to begin an exit strategy.

I am officially preparing to leap into a career of God’s design. I can see it clearly but there is not a blueprint for it. This next chapter is all about faith and trust. I know it’s going to work and I have no fear or trepidation. I feel nothing but ready.